I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
