she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Houston, we have a blender
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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