The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
