He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
