Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
