just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
