escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
