i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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