yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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