Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
