Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
