people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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