This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize