Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
