dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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