She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
