Me too!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
