i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
