remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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