Soap is not a condiment
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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