And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your penis caused this!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
