I got chris browned last night
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
