He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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