Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
