My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't make out with my wife yet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
