Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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