I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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