The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
