If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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