How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
