So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize