it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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