Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize