I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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