I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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