My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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