Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
