I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
