community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
