My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
