How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They took my balls.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
