if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
