i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
