He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We have started to decorate penises.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
