This is not my ceiling
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
