Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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