I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
