he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
