What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
