i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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