I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
