I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
