Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
