some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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