Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
