I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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