they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
