Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
