After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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