So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
