I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
