Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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