State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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